An addendum of my thoughts on Maryland and a debate-

Ever since I wrote that last post, I've had so many other things come up that I wish I would have included. So here's my addendum to my last post. Here's a few more differences between Maryland and Utah.

The have "wet umbrella" bags at Walmart and other grocery stores. When it's raining the security guards standing at the doors even hand them out. (That's another thing that's different. Security guards at grocery stores. A lot of times they check your receipt like they do at Costco, but at Walmart)

A few other things about driving here...You have to drive so aggressive here. All I want is for someone to let me in the other lane when my blinker is on. That NEVER happens. You have to MAKE room for your car, because no one else is going to. It's almost like if they see my blinker on they PURPOSELY are staying really close together so I can't get in. I'm just sick of having to drive aggressively. I just want someone to be kind and let me in!

You know how I previously said there are hardly any right turn only lanes? Well I realized something else. There'z often no right turn lanes AND left turns lanes. SO it's kind of like Center St in Provo. If you need to turn left, all the cars behind you that are going straight just have to wait for you to turn left before they can go. Or if you're on like a street that is 40 mph, and you have to slow down to turn right, all the cars behind you have to too, because there's not a right turn only lane, or even a shoulder to get out of their way. Doesn't help with the traffic. I think if they made their streets less crazy, the traffic and drivers would be less crazy too.

Here's one positive thing about living here. You know the game where you tap somebody's forehead and tell them to name 10 candy bars, or gas stations, or whatever? I have a whole new slew of gas stations from out here. They're all different than in the west. So I'm gonna rock at that game.

EVERYONE here as a dog. But there are hardly any big dogs. They're all small non-shedding dogs, which is like a paradise for me because I like small dogs. It's probably because no one has yards, and if they do, they're not fenced, so there's no where to keep a big dog. There's those little poop/doggy bag little station thingys all over the place. And I've stepped dog poop TWICE since living here, which I don't think I've ever done in Utah. And I spent a lot more time on grass in Utah than I do here. So obviously people need to utilize those baggies more.

The streets here are SO dark at night. I guess there's just no street lights. And even when there are streetlights, it's just SO dark!! I can't really figure it out, all I know is that when it's dark outside, it's REALLY dark. Even like the freeways are way dark. There's no lights on the freeway even, except the ones that light up the signs. If I remember correctly, the freeways in Utah have like...stadium status lights on them.

I can't remember if I've talked about this already one here. But I know I've told a lot of people this, so many of you probably already know how I feel. But there's SO many creepy crawlies here. I'm petrified of ticks. I mostly avoid going outside or being in nature for too long. And when I am, I promptly go home and check myself for ticks. When I first got here I wore bug spray like it was perfume.

And it's SO loud here at night. All types of bugs are making SO MUCH NOISE at night. One night we camped on our deck and I could hardly fall asleep because it was so loud from all the crickets and bugs and who knows what else! It's because there's SO many trees! Who knows what could be lurking in there!!! And I've seen several rodents run across the road that I can't even identify. Just like...bigger than a squirrel, smaller than a raccoon, but furry like a raccoon. There was a brown one and a black one. And that just creeps me out--a rodent that I've never seen before?!?! But surprisingly I haven't seen a lot of spiders inside our house, so that's kind of nice. But like...our deck and underneath our deck, I HATE going out there because I'm so scared of all the creepy crawlies.

And there lot's of frogs here. Some BIG huge frogs, which I've almost stepped on several times and it freaks me out, and then some cute small ones. The cute small ones used to hang out on our windows at night (we'd have like 4 of them on our kitchen window at a time), but they stopped doing that. I think it was because I got rid of the mosquito larvae bucket on our deck. You can read about that experience here. Anyways, the point of this big paragraph is to tell you that sometimes, actually all the time when I'm driving at night on the very dark streets, leaves blowing around look like frogs jumping! And I never know if it's a really a frog trying to get out of the way, or if it's a leaf. Strangely they look A LOT a like when the wind is blowing and a leaf  is bouncing around on the road. So I never know if I should swerve out of the way because I don't want to hit the frog, but then it's kind of dangerous to swerve, especially when there's other cars around. and mostly likely it's a leaf....so probably not worth the risk? I dunno. It's a dilemma in my life.

Oh! And wild turtles!! What?!?!? Me and Sam were just pulling out of our house one day and this big old giant turtle was crossing the road! What?!?! Who knew?!?! You Marylanders- is that really a thing? Or was it someone's lost pet?

There's a lot of one-way streets in downtown Baltimore and DC and I don't do well with one-way streets. I used to get stressed driving in downtown Salt Lake with the few one-way streets there! I don't know why, but I don't do well with them. (Don't tell Sam, but the other day I actually turned down a one-way street going the wrong way. Luckily it was like 9 at night and there was only one car- who, in true Baltimore fashion honked much more than was needed- and luckily I just flipped a U turn and all was okay.

There are no "push to walk" buttons on crosswalks. I guess just because there's ALWAYS people needing to cross the streets, so they put the little white "walk" guy up every time. In Utah it's not like that. If you want that little white "walk" guy, you HAVE to push the button.

Also people here just cross the street whenever. I was talking to a native Baltimorean the other day, and she said it was a rule: If there isn't a car directly behind another car, you can cross. And then she moved to Idaho and tried doing that and people were like "uhhhh you can't do that here.You have to wait for the cross walk to change." But really though, people just cross the street whenever and wherever, as long as there's a break in the cars.

Which brings me to another point. Things like...jay-walking and speeding aren't even a thing here. I mean, I haven't seen the police reports, but I would assume that there's just SO MUCH other crime here, they don't have time to deal with menial crimes like speeding. I have almost no fear of getting pulled over here.

That leads me to another point. This is the WORLD guys. The great and spacious building in all its glory. When I started this job and am regularly sitting in college campuses everyday, I feel like I just got thrown into...literally the great and spacious building.

One day a few days ago, I was just overwhelmed with all the yuck that was immediately around me. I was driving to work, and heard on the radio that there were FIVE murders in the Baltimore/DC area the night before. FIVE!!! And one of them was this horrific story about a husband AND wife who were BOTH having an affair with this lady, so they let her move into their basement. Then some type of drama happened and the wife got mad and hired her 13 year old daughter's 18 year old boyfriend, to murder the husband and girlfriend.

Just read that again....

Doesn't that make you SICK???? So many things wrong with that story, even BEFORE they got killed. And that happened like 30 minutes from where I live!!!

Okay, so back to that day. So I hear on the radio about all these murders, then I go to a college class that was all about the LGBT community and the issues that come with "coming out". But the perspective of it all was like, WAY different than what would be discussed in a college classroom in Utah. AND this girl in the class, said that her babysitter when she was growing up (who was a girl) decided to go through a sex change, and took lots of testosterone medication and had like a full on beard and could have totally passed for a man. Like no one would have ever known he was once a girl. And this man decides he wants to have a baby, so he gets pregnant! Because he/she still has eggs and ovaries inside!  So imagine walking down the street and seeing a pregnant man?!?! But he can't nurse the baby because he's doesn't have boobs anymore?? I dunno. Don't ask me about the science.

Oh my gosh I'm getting overwhelmed again just typing this.

Not to mention on these college campuses I've talked to and seen more cross-dressers and atheists that I think I ever have in my life.

Then I go to another class that's about health insurance stuff, and they said that when medicaid paid for abortions, they had more abortions than live births in Maryland. They've since changed it so the State no longer covers abortions, but STILL!!! I had no idea people got that many abortions!

And THEN, to top it all off, I go to an art class that I'm working in, and it turns out they're having a nude model next class. Oh boy.

Like....I can't even think of the words to express how I feel about all of this. Here's a list from a thesaurus:

shocked, overwhelmed, aghast, appalled, dismayed, stunned, astonished, offended, upset, alarmed, anxious, apprehensive, suspicious, terrified, terror-stricken, timid, trembling, worried, daunted, discouraged, disheartened, distressed, disturbed, faint-hearted, frightened, frozen, horrified, changed, panic-stricken, perplexed, perturbed, rattled, scared, startled, impaired, grieved, troubled, concerned.....

YEAH. ALL OF THE ABOVE. (insert emoji of the girl raising her hand here)

Gosh that happened like a week ago and I kind of forgot about it all, but now I'm all worked up again after typing all that! After that day, and after right now, all I want to do is go to the temple and just feel the peace and security that comes with the gospel!

This world is CRAZY!!!

Okay I honestly was not planning on this post being this long! I thought it was going to be a few short lines! Geeze. I have a lot to say about Maryland. But here's the big question- the debate I promised in the title--

The debate:

Is the East Coast or West Coast more spread out??

I can't figure it out.

When I first moved out here, I totally thought the west was much more spread out. Which, I still do agree with that for the most part. Because like...land is so much more valuable here. No one has big houses and big yards, because there just isn't enough open space! The roads don't have shoulders and right turn lanes because they ran out of space! And I don't know how to explain it, but there's just a TON. more. people. and roads. And when I think of the east coast, I just think of crowded busy chaos. And the west is just like wide open roads and space. And land is cheaper and everyone has bigger houses and yards than they do on the east. Do you get where I'm going with this? Do you agree?

(Side note-I think on the west, particularly in Utah, the status symbol of choice is houses. But I feel like in Maryland the size of your house doesn't mean as much. Here, the status symbol of choice is cars.)

But then on the other hand- Sam thinks the east is more spread out. We've had this debate since we first moved here. But now I'm starting to see his point too. Because like I said before, I have to drive SO much here! Everything is so far away! But then....it's really close in the fact that like...everything I could possibly ever need is within an hour of me, but then I have to drive at least 30 minutes to get to anything! So I can't decide. And I've heard other people make comments that go along with Sam's theory, like they'll say "The west is so crowded! Everyone's houses are so close and in these crowded subdivisions" or things like "the west is so claustrophic!" Which is how I feel about the east! I guess I can see the thing about the subdivisions...but here, hardly anyone even has a yard because most people live in apartments and townhouses (but maybe that's just the neighborhood I live in) But then people who do have yards, they have very big yards it seems like. I dunno?? I just can't figure it out.

And I've tried to google things like...does Utah have more people than Maryland? But stuff like that doesn't really work because Utah is so much bigger than Maryland. So you'd need to take like...Maryland, and a portion of Utah that is same size of square miles as Maryland, and do a comparison that way? I dunno. I can see both sides. It seems like people from the west think the west is more spread out, and people from the east think the east is more spread out. But then Sam is on the easterner's side...so maybe that's not an accurate statement.

I just can't figure it out. So I want your opinions.

If you got this far in my post, I'm  proud of you. Sam has gotten sick of me telling all of this to him over and over again. The differences between the east and the west are basically all I ever talk about. Maybe I'm a bit obsessive. So sue me.

Maryland is different than Utah...

I was keeping a list of things that I've learned outside of Utah, but now my list has evolved more into a list of differences between Maryland and Utah. and believe me... there's a lot of them.

Here we go...

First of all, my nails grow longer here!  It's amazing!  I have the worst nails.  They're always cracking and layering and peeling and breaking.  In Utah I could barely grow any white on them without one of them peeling and breaking, but lookie here!  I know they're not even close to "really long", but they're really long for me!

it's a miracle!

I've only actually been able to grow all of them out this long once.  Usually at least one of them ends up breaking.

Another weird thing about Maryland is that they cancel school ALL THE TIME.  It's funny because I grew up in Utah and have never had a snow day in my life, but Maryland has them all the time.  And not only that, but they closed school due to "heat" the other day.  What?  I have never had school closed for anything except the Olympics coming to Salt Lake.  It's makes them seem kind of wussy, but then again, they get flash flood warnings and their streets turn into rivers and they don't even blink an eye.  But they'll close school at just the thought of snow!  So I guess every state has their thing.  Snow is not Maryland's. But yeah, there's a lot more unplanned school closures here than in Utah

They call snow cones- "snow balls" and they suck.  They're like snowcones used to be before Hokulia changed the snow cone world.  Like big hard chunks of ice.  Booo that.

I've been really analyzing their accents.  It's pretty fun.  The biggest thing I've noticed is they leave out their L's if it's in the middle of the word.  Like "hold" becomes "hoad" with a Baltimore accent.  Almost= "ahmost" older= "oader". They say their A's more like awww, instead of ah or a. Like it's more down in the throat.  Like awwwwkward and on= "awn" but like...down in the throat.  I don't know how to explain it over text.  Haha.

And Baltimore?  It's not Ball-ti-more.  It's Bawdimore. Apparently there's no T.  haha

People are very hasty to honk here. and I hate honking.  People will honk just all willy-nilly without a good reason.  I hate it.

There are no sprinkler systems here.  Isn't that crazy?  It literally rains enough for them to not need sprinkler systems.  Who knew??

The roads here SUCK. they're so bad. it's like off-roading, all the time. so many GIANT pot holes. And there's no shoulder.  Like ya know the 5 or 6 feet that's in between the road and the sidewalk where where people ride their bikes and park their cars and what not?  Yeah, non existent here.  There's no shoulders.  So when people need to park on the side of the road, they just park in the lane! and you just have to swerve into the other lane to get past them!  (That only happens in downtown Baltimore or DC). I hate driving in the right lane because it's SO close to the side walk and people and just feels so crowded!  And not only that, but in Utah, that 5 feet of extra space becomes a "right turn lane" at a stop light right? yeah, not here. The normal lane that you're driving in all the sudden becomes right turn only with almost no indication.  It doesn't sound like it's that big of a deal, but it is.  You have to memorize which lanes become right turn only lanes so you don't get stuck turning right when you don't want to.

I have a lot more to say about driving, but it'll continue my rant later.

There are lots of Jews and religious schools.  I'm learning all about different religion's holidays.  Some public schools here even close on Jewish holidays.  Basically the whole month of September is a Jewish holiday.  Literally, there's one school out here that's been closed for like 3 weeks because it's a Jewish school.  But yeah, lots of catholic schools, or montessori's, etc.

A purse is a "pocketbook"

Suckers (like the candy on a stick) is not a sucker here. it's a lollipop. Always.

I'm realizing that Mormons are the "crazy religious people".  Like the way I've looked at some other religions before (not saying specifically which religions), but like the you know how there's some religions you just think like...."they're kind of extreme."  PEOPLE THINK OF US THAT WAY!  I never knew!  And not only that, some people think we're on the same level as like... Amish people or Mennonites. Like  people clump us with the types of religions that don't associate with the outside world. I would just like to state to Mormon's live in regular society.  They do not seclude themselves and create their own little society.  They get normal jobs and dress like normal people, they celebrate all the normal holidays (with the addition of Pioneer Day).  Let's get real, I know everyone reading this is probably Mormon, but I would just like to shout that to the world.

Avocados are terrible out here.  It's very unfortunate because I LOVE avocados.  In Utah, I had this method.  I would buy like 6-7 avocados and leave them on my counter until they were just barely ripe, then I would stick them in the fridge.  They could last in the fridge for like 1-2 weeks before they were too gross to eat. Here, I've tried doing that, and it does not work. There is a much smaller window that avocados are good here. you have like...two days to eat them after they're just barely ripe, and then they turn more mushy and gross than I've ever seen them like in Utah.  and they just aren't as good here.  :(

And a note about the ghetto. So some of the places here are just as bad, if not worse, than what you see in the movies (I'm thinking of Step Up, Blindside, Take the Lead, etc.). But it's much scarier here, because in those movies, the person from the ghetto is always somehow rising above it. There's gonna be some happy ending about how they overcome the poverty cycle and get out of the ghetto. But the parts of the ghetto I see, there's no happy ending. It's just like...scary. So in that sense, it's not like the movies at all.

And here's my biggest bone to pick with Maryland. Everyone here has a different idea of what is "close" means than us people from the west do.  Basically everything here is 20-30 minutes away. and when I said everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Like I'll be somewhere in Balitmore and need to go to another store, and I think "oh it's probably close because I'm down here so far", then I put it in my GPS and without a doubt, it's always atleast 20 minutes away. And not only that, but even the closest grocery store and gas station are like 10 minutes away.  And the weird thing is, they're only like 2 miles away, but it takes 10 minutes to get there!  It seriously can't figure that one out.  For example, the metro station is exactly 2 miles away from our house, so you think, "oh that shouldn't take more more than 5 minutes to drive there with stop lights and everything", but  no, it takes a solid 10 minutes to drive there even with no traffic and hitting a lot of green lights.

And like... we have to give rides to people to church, and they try to coordinate who lives close to each other and stuff, and even if someone lives like 15 minutes away from us, they're still considered "close". given our ward boundaries are probably like..an hour between the furthest people north and south, but still.  In my book, 15 minutes is not "close". There's no such thing as like, running down the street to borrow something from my neighbor. It's more like, I have to drive 30 minutes to borrow it.

WARNING: If you don't want to listen to me go on a rant about how much I hate traffic here, stop reading now. This could get long.

So here's what I've figured out I think.  Baltimore has like this like imaginary bubble around it that expands maybe like... 40 minutes in each direction.  And people think that basically any city within that circle is "close". So for my job, they told me "we have some schools the are really close to you that we'll send you to." I'm thinking like...Stevenson University which is like 15 min away. Nope.  When they said "close" they meant, anything within that  Baltimore bubble.  And so I have will have like one school I have to drive to that's south of Baltimore (which is already not very close to me and my definition of close), and then another one that's on the opposite end of Balitmore!! but apparently people out here think that's "close"!!!!!! .That's not close in my book.

And not only that, but traffic here is TERRIBLE.  So something that's like 15 miles away, and your GPS says it'll take 22 minutes without traffic, can take like 45 minutes even when you're driving it at like 2 in the afternoon! WTH?!?!?! I heard on the radio yesterday the DC is in the top three worst places for traffic in the US.  And no doubt Baltimore is very far behind since DC is so close and some of that traffic comes up here too. So basically every day when I'm driving around, I ask myself over and over again "why would anyone want to live here??" "why would anyone CHOOSE to live here??"

For my job, if I want to be on time, I have to leave an hour beforehand to get to the schools on time and it's only like 15 miles away. So dumb. SO dumb. SO DUMB!

My mom asked me last night if the traffic here was like the traffic in Salt Lake.....Salt Lake DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TRAFFIC compared to here.  I literally didn't know what traffic was until I moved here. Think of like, if you're driving from Lehi to Provo...Google says that's 17 miles. Imagine if that took you 45-50 minutes to get there, EVERY DAY, basically no matter what time of day, and that's without some big event going on.  And it's not even because there's an accident or anything either, there's just TOO MANY cars! Normally in Utah you drive and eventually you get past the cause of the traffic (like an accident or a lane closure), and then it goes back to normal freeway speeds. Not here, It never lets up.  You just keep going, and maybe it'll speed up a little bit, and then it just slows right back down again for no reason.  And every single freeway here is like that! and then when there's an accident on top of the already bad traffic?!?! Yeah, no. Not great. The other day it took me 1 hour and 20 minutes to get somewhere that takes me 17 min with no traffic -because one lane was closed.  Just ONE lane. doesn't see like it should be that big of a deal.

Can you tell I have to drive a lot for my job and I'm NOT very happy about it?  yeah....

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now...

Anywho. Lot's of exciting differences here. Wooo hoo..I love Maryland (imagine me saying that with the least ecstatic tone you can think of)

What I've learned while living outside of Utah....

So...I'm a Utah girl. Born and raised there. And not only that but I had never even vacationed on the East coast. So I uprooted everything and moved across the country to Maryland. Turns out everywhere else is not like Utah....who knew? And people warned me, they told me again and again how different it would be, what to expect, but you really just DON'T understand until you experience it.

So I decided to keep a list of things I've learned since moving outside of Utah. So here it goes. Sorry if it gets a little lengthy. 

Things I've learned while living outside of Utah....

That places can be humid even if they're not by the ocean.. Also that like everything from eastern Colorado and over is humid....And then if you include texas and California....the majority of the U.S. Is humid!! Who knew?!? 

That the majority of the U.S. does not have mountains. So many things that Utah has (or doesn't have), that I just assumed everybody else in the U.S. had too! Like mountains!! 

 How many black people Utah doesn't have.... 

Trees. Everyone told me "there's a lot of trees on the east coast" and I just didn't comprehend what they meant until I got here...There are So. Many. Trees. You can't see more than 100 yards in any direction without a freaking forest getting in your way. Can a girl just get a VIEW please?? All I want is to be able to get on top of all these trees and see!! I bet it would be GORGEOUS...just solid tree-tops for miles, but no one can see it dang it!  

That people in Utah are overly friendly (not a bad thing). Sam kept telling me that there is no customer service in Maryland, so I was expecting people to be down right rude. But I don't think that's true...I've had to deal with tons of customer service people with switching our addresses and banks and insurance, etc. to Maryland, and people are polite and get the job done, but you never walk away from them with a smile on your face because they made you feel good. But that happens every time you have to associate with anyone in Utah! It happens so much that people don't even notice it! 

I've learned what a "big city" is. And I've learned that I don't like them. I thought Salt Lake was a "big city"...it doesn't even compare. And I've learned that big cities are chaos. Just pure chaos. And they're SO dirty. And that Mormons have their heads on straight, because even though Salt Lake is the biggest city we have in Utah, it's still very orderly and clean compared to other big cities.  

TOLLS. Are you kidding me?? Tolls are non existent in Utah. I had no idea they were even a thing. Sam and I were in for a rude awakening when we drove to New York for the first time. $60 in tolls!! One of them was a $14 toll!! That's just crazy!! $14 to drive across a bridge?!? What is that? Me and Sam did the math, and that tollway alone is making like $500,000 A DAY. What do they do with all that money?!? Talk about highway robbery. And not only that, but the money is DEFINITELY not going towards upkeep on the roads, because the roads in New York are TERRIBLE. 

I've learned what tadpoles do NOT look like (Thought I had hundreds of tadpoles growing on my deck in a bucket, so I kept them around for a few weeks. Turns out they were MOSQUITO LARVAE. Ew.)

I've learned how to explain what a "ward" is to a non-member. I was prepared to be around a lot of non-members, and I've thought about and practiced ways to explain different things about the doctrine of our religion, and why we do (or do not) do the things we do, but I never thought about how to explain what a "ward" is to a non-member. Such commonly used vernacular in Utah, but out here, if I said "My ward", people would be like..."what? I don't think you're using that word right." ".....like your psyche ward??"

I'll keep adding to my list and update it periodically, but that's all for now. This little Utah girl is becoming cultured :)

Also, funny side note: yesterday Sam and I saw someone throw a chicken bone out their car window on the freeway. hahahahah. Only in Baltimore. Gotta have your fried chicken. 

OH. also, one more thing. Maybe it's just Walmart out here, but they do not go easy on the bags. It's seriously ridiculous. They only put like 2 items in a grocery bag. And if they put more than a couple things in a bag, they double bag it! It's the strangest thing. And this wasn't just like one time it happened to me, I've been to two different Walmarts, probably 8 times now, and it's EVERY time I go. I come home, and I'm unloading the groceries, and it's like...a SINGLE roll of paper towels and box of ziploc bags in one bag. And I have an entire cart of other stuff. I took some pictures to document it, because I can't get over it. 

So here's the first picture, this was how full my grocery cart is (and no, my grocery cart is not always this full. I was stocking up on food storage) 

Below is the picture of the bag with a single roll of paper towels and a box of Ziploc bags.....

Here's like...5 packs of tuna. In one bag. In what world is that "full"??

And here's the real kicker. This bag bellow, has a few more items than the other two right? I'm like "okay, they're getting better." NO this one is double bagged.

I just don't understand!



One thing I wish I'd known before I got married...

I don't mean to catfish you into reading this blog post. I hate those stupid articles on facebook that are like
"10 things you're doing to ruin your marriage"
"You'll never believe this homeless man's reaction when  someone offered him a job"
"$10 and 10 minutes later, you'll never believe what this lady made!"
"He catches his wife crying while doing laundry. Then she tells him the shocking truth."

Anyways...you get the idea. I HATE these articles. I ALWAYS get sucked into them! I can't resist! And sometimes they are insightful things that could help my life, but I just HATE them. That's why I deactivate my facebook so often, strictly because I hate those stupid articles. But then I'll reactivate to check when a friend gets home from her mission, or because I heard someone got engaged, and then I'll keep it activated and three weeks later I'm spending my whole day reading those stupid articles on facebook! So then I deactivate it again for 2 weeks, or a month, or 3 months, and then it happens all over again. It's a never ending cycle! Anyways, I TOTALLY feel like the title of this blog is one of those articles, just trying to suck you in. It might be worse if I called it "One life changing thing I wish I'd known before I got married..." then it would DEFINITELY be one of those articles. But it's totally not. So I'm sorry if you feel like you got sucked into reading this article because of the enticing title. But it's not going to be heart touching, or life changing, or anything of the sort. It's just as surface level as all the other stuff I write about on here. So if you feel like you got sucked into reading this when you didn't want to. Go ahead and stop now. You'll survive if you don't know the ONE thing I, personally, wish I had known before I got married.

So here it is. I wish someone would have just sat me down and told me to SPEND MONEY before I got married. I wish someone would have told me that my money is ALL mine. That spending it doesn't effect anyone else but me! And that it's never gonna be that way again. So there's never a better time in my life to do a little splurging!

I'm a hardcore budgeter. I love finances, and budgeting, and saving, and making all the numbers add up so prettily, and being thorough. I'm always reading a new finance book. Budgets and finance comes up all the time in my conversations. And now that I'm growing up, I'm trying to learn more about investing, but I'm still pretty new in that area. So if you have any knowledge, I'd love to talk :) So this advice is for people like me. People who are penny-pinchers and like to save. I wouldn't recommend taking this advice if you already splurge on everything.

Anyways, I lived on a budget before I got married. I had a good sized savings account for a poor single college student. I didn't have any debt and I've never lived paycheck-to-paycheck. But I wish I would have known before I was married that this would be the LAST TIME that my money is ALL mine. That I can (and should) do whatever I want with it. That it's the last time in my life that splurging on the new purse can be a priority over the million other bills I will have once I'm married. And not that me and Sam even have a lot of bills compared to some people, but it's that getting-a-new-skirt-because-I'm-sick-of-all-the-ones-in-my-closet is not a priority on our list of things we need to buy this month. And now I'm realizing that I totally could have bought that skirt when I wasn't married and it wouldn't have made a difference at all! I just chose not to because I am such a budget nazi.

So whenever one of my single friends is like "should I buy this really expensive shampoo I've been wanting forever?" I'm like "YES!" because if you don't get it now, you'll never get it. Because even though it's a relatively unimportant thing to spend money on, it will become even LESS important once you're married.

And don't take me wrong. I LOVE being married. I'm not saying "oh marriage sucks, don't get married. You can't do anything" I'm just saying that I wish I would have bought that $100 hobo wallet I've wanted for YEARS, or splurged on a new swimsuit, or bought the new pair of shoes, because it wouldn't have effected anyone else but myself. But now that I'm married, splurging on something effects more people than just me.

So for all you single people out there like me, I just want you to realize that your money is ALL yours. That spending it doesn't effect anyone else but you! And that it's never gonna be that way again. So there's never a better time in your life to do a little splurging! That's all :)

PS- while I'm on the subject- Lately I've just been wanting to walk into a store and just buy my favorite thing. Not my favorite thing out of the clearance section, not my favorite thing under $20, but just my favorite thing in the whole store. Most my clothes (who am I kidding, most of EVERYTHING I own) comes from the clearance section of discount stores. So the clothes are already marked down, and I'm still shopping in the clearance section! I just look forward to the day when I can walk into a store, and buy what I want, not because of the price.

An ebayer, hand-me-down, used-merchandise gal buys something new!

So Sam and I are total eBay-ers. Or KSL-ers. Or "oh you're getting rid of that? We'll take it." -ers. Aside from the presents we got for our wedding, we haven't bought anything of value, new...from a store...out of the box. Everything from our bed frame and mattress, couches, tv, entertainment center, car, motorcycle (and countless motorcycle parts), oven, computer, printer, nail polish (and countless nail art supplies), play stations...basically everything we have is used. We either got it as a hand-me-down, from KSL, or eBay. And I have to say that I am pretty dang good at finding deals on those sites. (Also a side note, some of the things we've gotten off eBay are new, but they're from China, so it's definitely not the same as buying something brand new from a store).

And not only that, but anything we own that we're getting rid of that has any type of value, we sell on KSL or eBay. We've sold cars, motorcycles...and again countless motorcycle parts, LifeProof cases, iphones, jewelry, cosmetics, shoes, you name it, we've probably tried to sell it.

When either of us need to buy something, we automatically go to those sites. It doesn't even cross our minds to go shop for it at a store.

BUT. We just barely bought a brand-new, from an ACTUAL STORE, flat screen TV! That is literally unheard of for us. It all started because Sam is obsessed with car simulators lately and he's been wanting to get one, but he needed a playstation to do it. So he found a used ps3 on KSL thinking he could hook it up to our hand-me-down old box TV we have. But after doing a little more research we figured out we'd have to spend like 30$+ buying converters and cords to be able to make it work on our ancient tv. So Sam said instead of buying all the cords, he'd rather just put the money towards a new tv. and that same day we happened to get a cash back reward from one of our credit cards, which would cover about half the cost of a new tv. And Sam had some plasma money saved up to spend on whatever hobby he chooses, so we decided to buy a new-to-us tv. so naturally we get on KSL and start looking for used flat screens.

But we also realized that a flat screen would not fit in the hand-me-down entertainment center we have, because it's made for a big square box tv. So now I'm like..."great. All because Sam found a good deal on a ps3, now we have to get a new tv AND an new tv console, neither of which are in our budget!" (I'm also a psycho budget-er)

We started looking for used consoles and tvs, and we found a few good deals, and one tv in particular that we set up a time to go look at, and were basically planning on buying. But then I started looking up the reviews (I also thoroughly read reviews for any product before I buy it), and it turns out the tv was manufactured like 6 years ago, and people had just recently started posting that their tvs were going bad, so we decided even if the particular tv on KSL is still good, it will probably start to have problems soon. So then I started looking online at new tvs from different places and we found a pretty good deal for a tv at Best Buy. I read the reviews from any place I could find that sold that particular tv and compared prices at all those stores, and the reviews seemed to be good, and Best Buy happened to be having a one day sale on that tv, so they had the best price. The brands isn't like a big name brand, but everyone said it was a good starter tv, and we're total newbs when it comes to tv stuff. Plus it was comforting to know it was a new tv and if we do have problems, there is a warranty. So we were totally sold on this tv.

But the problem was that the closest Best Buy that had the tv in stock was in Park City, and Sam wanted to see the tv in person before buying it and also didn't want to have to wait for it to get shipped to us (cuz he was anxious to play his car racing game).

So off we were up to Park City and we walked out with a NEW tv in our hands! Not new-to-us, not new-from-China, but NEW! We were pretty stoked. AND it came with a Roku TV. Which at the time we had no idea what that was, but now that we do, we're pretty stoked about it.

Now back to the entertainment center problem...

So Sam convinced me to let him try to jimmy rig our entertainment center to make a flat tv console instead. So he woke up super early on Saturday morning and started sawing away. I wish we would have taken some before and after pictures, but we didn't. Just so you get an idea, our entertainment center looked something like this with a much smaller tv square...

And I woke up on Saturday with it looking like this! I was so proud of him!

 

You would never be able to tell that it was pieced together from a big entertainment center. And not only that, but when I was trying to find a picture similar to what ours used to look like and a stumbled across the "before" picture I just used, it was a step-by-step blog post of how to do exactly what we had just done! 

And Sam thought it up all by himself. I was so proud of him :) 

So if you're wondering how we turned it into this, here's a link to her blog. She paints her new and improved tv console (which I kinda want to do to mine now), so the transformation is bigger than ours, but still...I was impressed with Sam's ingenuity. Also he used screws instead of gorilla glue. 

But look at us! All fancy and buying our first brand new purchase!

Also our entertainment center had a bunch of shelves on the sides where I was keeping all my books and candles and a bunch of other knick-knacks on, so know I need find a book shelf to replace those shelves. I've already started looking on KSL, but who knows, maybe I'll buy a new one!

My rambling thoughts on American Sniper and the LDS community

When I first started writing this blog post, I was going to write this semi-controversial post about how I think it's wrong that all these LDS people are going to see American Sniper, when they are clearly crossing a line that the Church has set. But as I've been writing, my post has evolved, and my anger has disintegrated. And I'm realizing that I'm at just as guilty as these people seeing the movie, even though I don't watch R rated movies.

Here's why. Everyone sins.  I learned something from one of the many men my mom has dated. I can't remember which one, but I do remember our discussion about sinning. What he said was that in the LDS church, it's just "pick-a-sin, pick-a-sin." Everyone sins, but in different ways. And some commandment or guideline from the church that may be very important to me, might not be a big deal to someone else. And I think this is what I'm discovering with rated R movies.

Here's an example of what I'm trying to explain with this "pick-a-sin" thing. A while ago we had dinner with some friends on a Sunday. Everyone at the party was LDS. We all had a different food assignment to bring. We show up to the party and there's a few fresh Carl's Jr. bags on the table. (You're probably thinking the same thing I was right? Why is there fast food here, on a Sunday, and we're all LDS....) It's pretty standard that LDS people don't go out and shop on Sunday. ANYWHO, So the friend who bought the fast food, explained himself and said, "Well I had to go do my home teaching before I came, so I didn't have time to make anything. So I just stopped by Carl's Jr. real fast." At first, I had to chuckle, because it's just like...an oxymoron. You went and did your home teaching, and then bought something at Carl's Jr on Sunday?

 But then I learned something from this friend when I realized this is a perfect example of "pick-a-sin"

Maybe this friend of ours has gained a strong testimony of home teaching and the importance of it, and is a faithful home teacher, but doesn't have the same conviction about not shopping on Sunday. Where in the same room there could be someone thinking, "GASP!! He went and bought Carl's Jr on a Sunday?!?! WHAT A BLATANT SIN!!! That's TERRIBLE!!!", yet that same person hasn't gone home teaching in a year.

and I can think of a million other times in my life when I've seen someone sin, and that particular commandment is very important to me and I totally judge them for it, yet I'm committing just as grave a sin, my sins just look a little different (cough...judging them...cough).

We're all just trying to do our best. And just because someone else's sinning looks a little bit different than ours, doesn't mean we have to judge them for it.

Okay, I totally was NOT going for a "don't judge others and stay out other people's business" soap box here, and that's what it's turning into, so I'm gonna stop right there.

But I still am going to tell you why I'm not going to see American Sniper.

First of all, I think the reason each person thinks different guidelines and commandments are important is largely because of how they were raised and what was prioritized in their house growing up. And watching R rated movies was just something we didn't do in my house. I was taught my whole life that R rated movies are bad and we shouldn't watch them. And down to my very core I am a rule follower- so obviously I believe that too.

The second reason I'm not going to see it is because I feel like if something is so blatantly spelled out for us in the church, I want to follow it. And not watching R rated movies is very blatantly spelled out.

The third reason is because I'm trying to bring only things that will uplift me into my life. Things that will change me to be a better person. (as I'm typing this I'm realizing just how many things I do on a regular basis that don't necessarily make me a better person, but I do them without a second thought. Pick-a-sin, pick-a-sin). but I know that watching American Sniper is not going to make me a better person. It is not going to change my life for the better. It is just a fad (And don't try and tell me it will make my life better. I've had this argument already. Maybe it'll change my views about war and how horrible it is, but I don't necessarily think that's making my life better). There are so many times when I'm watching one of my favorite shows (mostly New Girl and The Mindy Project) and the episode is just down right inappropriate, and part of me wants to keep watching it SO BAD, and I'm having this total inner war with myself- like the good angel on one side and the devil on the other side, and I always ask myself the same thing: "Will it really make THAT much of a difference in my life if I don't finish this episode."

And I reach down deep in myself and look at the point of this life and realize that if I don't know what happens at the end of the episode, it's not going matter 5 years down the road. Usually the only reason I can come up with as to why I should keep watching it is because I will want to talk about it with the friends who also watch that show. Which, obviously isn't a very good reason, so the good angel wins and I turn it off, (sometimes begrudgingly).

And that is what I think people should ask themselves about watching American Sniper. Will it really make THAT much of a difference in your life if you don't watch it? Five years down the road are you gonna say, "Man, my life would be SO much better right now if I had watched American Sniper."

No! You're not going to say that! But it might make a difference to your kids when you're teaching them about choosing the right, and you tell them a story about an R rated movie you REALLY wanted to see, but decided not to.

Now that I've given you the speech I gave Sam about why he shouldn't see it....the point is, well...I don't even know what the point is anymore. This blog post has literally flipped a 180 while I was writing it, and is COMPLETELY not what I was planning on writing about.
So I guess I'll just stop here :)

Thanks for listening to my rant.

Do or don't see American Sniper, let me know if either makes you a better person.

My love/hate relationship with diabetes

I'm just discovering diabetes is not all it's cracked up to be.

Call me crazy or don't believe me, but when I first got diabetes, I was excited. It made me more unique and it made me more like my brother, Jared- the two things I strived to be on a daily basis. Up until I got married, I enjoyed having diabetes. I would see a random (but cute) boy walking past my group of friends and I'd shout out "Wanna give me a shot??" Holding a syringe. It worked every time :)

...I'll just go hang my head in shame.

Looking back, I feel like I was the biggest idiot.  I remember telling someone (and I'm embarrassed to even admit this out loud), "if they invented a cure for diabetes, I don't know if I'd take it. I like having diabetes too much."

Like...are you kidding me? I can't believe those words ever came out of my mouth.

But honestly I just loved letting other people give me shots. The following situation is one that happened HUNDREDS of times: I would be hanging out with a person I barely knew and pull out a needle. They'd freak out and be like "WHAT?!!?!" and then I'd ask them if they wanted to give me a shot. Most the time the answer was yes, then I'd give them a quick run down of how to give me a shot, and they, and everyone around them, would be freaking out, and all the while I would remain this cool calm collected cat- unafraid of needles.  Then usually follow up questions would come and I would get to briefly educate them about diabetes. More than a handful of times I had people come up to me at UVU and be like "I gave you a shot once!!" and I literally have no recollection of ever meeting them.

I liked this for several reasons. It wasn't something people were around every day. It made me unique. It gave people an opportunity to do something they'd probably never otherwise get to do. The rest of the world is afraid of needles, but I'm not (at least diabetes needles). I loved seeing everyone's reactions; some would freak out, others would be super stoked. And it always put me in a situation where I knew more about something than they did, and I got to teach them about it. But typing this all out, I'm realizing that all of this boils down to one thing (which I honestly didn't even realize until just this moment).....

I liked the attention.

It's honestly not anything more than that. I like attention, and diabetes is a sure fire way to get everyone's eyes on me. (Again, more shame and head-hanging).

Okay...I honestly was not writing this blog post to tell the world how much I like attention and my dirty tricks to get it. I am honestly just realizing I did all of this for attention as I'm typing it.

NOW, back to the point of my blog post. So yeah, diabetes was super fun to have when I was single. It was a social thing. But now that I'm married and not hanging out with a different group of people every night, the glitter has faded (...is that a thing that people say?) Like...all the things that once were exciting about it are gone and the real stuff has set in.

I'm realizing that I need to take diabetes much more seriously and realizing all the hard things that come with taking it more seriously.

People used to always ask me why I don't have a pump and I'd tell them needles were too much fun, and I'd probably get a pump when I got married, because I'll need one for when I want to have kids. So now here I am, married, and I did get a pump just like I always told people I would.

 I know what you're thinking...

THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT. Or even a, "we're trying" announcement, or even a "we're thinking about trying" announcement. This is an "I'm starting the long road to get to where I need to be in relation to control with my diabetes so that I can think about thinking about having kids in like two years" announcement :)

Because for me, it's not just like "oh we're ready to have kids now! Let's start trying!" situation. I have to get my A1c in mighty fine good control, which is gonna be a long road I think. I don't know alllll the details about being pregnant and having diabetes, but I know it's very risky. For me and the baby. One of my doctors told me once that a good target range for your blood glucose (BG) to be is 100-120, unless you're pregnant, then you'd want your target range to be 80-100. Which kinda freaked me out because like....being above 120 isn't even that bad to me. Like if I'm 150, I'm not like "ahhh! it's the end of the world! My BG is SOOO high!!" So not being able to be above 100?!?! That's tough. I and know that doesn't mean my BG can't ever ever ever go above 100 or my baby will die, but that's kind of how I feel. I just know that every time my BG accidentally spikes when I'm pregnant, I feel like it's gonna increase the chances that my baby will have problems. If there's something wrong with my baby, it's completely MY fault. It's because I didn't take good enough care of my diabetes while I was pregnant.

Okay, whoa. That got deep. This honestly wasn't gonna be a post about why we're not having kids right now either. Goodness, I'm having trouble making it full circle here.

So what I'm trying to say is that diabetes is hard. I never really thought of it as a trial, but it definitely is one. I find myself wishing more and more that I didn't have diabetes (which is literally something I had NEVER said two years ago). And my diabetes care up until this point has been so laxed (my computer is telling me this isn't a real word, but I feel like it is. Like relaxed- but just laxed.)

But ya know, casual. informal, low-pressure, not taken very seriously. And now that all the fun stuff has faded, I'm realizing it's just hard, and not fun. And I need to be taking a much more forward stance on my care, not just like a quick thing I take care of on the side, but actually center my life around it kind of. And I'm actually looking forward to the future when pumps and continuous glucose monitors and all the other technology get so good that I don't have be so worried about it.

Anyways, it's been a weird ride I've been on, going from loving diabetes to now having the same perspective the rest of the world has- that it sucks. And I feel like I just needed to process all these emotions I'm having. And this blog is a place where the things I wish would come up in common conversation do, so here are my recent thoughts on diabetes.

I know for most people diabetes is not "cracked up" at all, but I feel like for me, for the past 7 years it has been, And now every time I get overwhelmed with diabetes, the only way I can describe it is that...

diabetes isn't what it's all cracked up to be.