Philosophize...

So here's my new philosophy on favorites. You can't choose a favorite, it chooses you.

At least this has been my experience with favorites. For instance, my favorite color, I can't just assign a color to be my favorite, or it's not really my favorite. Then you might wonder, "how is your  favorite color created and changed then?" This is how, one day, after thinking my favorite color has been yellow for so long, I'll realize how many magenta things I own, and how every time I see something magenta, I immediately want it. THAT tells me magenta is my new favorite color. (Which by the way, purple is the new color that has chosen to be my favorite.)

Another example. Numbers. I've never had a "number" that is mine. Probably because I've never been on a team that requires jerseys with numbers on them. So I've always just said that I don't have a favorite number. But I have a favorite day- which is Thursday, so whenever a favorite number was required, I'd always say 4 because Thursday is the 4th day of the week. Which I was totally okay with, because I've always kind of been attracted to the number 4. And the number 7. Then one day, I was evaluating the numbers in my life, and I realized in the two numbers that will stick with me for the rest of my life (my birthday and social security number) have mostly 7's and 4's in then. My birthday is 7/4 and six out of the nine numbers in my social security number are 7 and 4. (is that too much information for a blog?) And that was the day I realized my favorite numbers are 7 and 4, not because I chose them, but because they chose me.

That's also when I realized I can't just assign something to the "favorite" category, rather it has to assign itself.

Horses, fits, and beggars

So let me start out by saying- that list I was keeping? About all the things I was going to write about. GONE. Along with all my contacts, pictures, and texts. Happened in a freak phone accident. but whatever. I'm over it. So this post is NOT on the list, we'll see how it turns out.

So my sister is gone to Hawaii this week, and she left her kids for my mother to babysit. Of  course my mother has her single-life activities she HAS to attend (even though she claims she's sick of it), so I've watched them Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and I will be watching them Friday also. At first I was like "Mom grow up, take on some responsibility, you committed to do this, so do it." But now I realize that she's just really out of the mother stage, not used to being tied down, and after a day or two of taking care of 5 kids, she's run ragged and ready to break down. So it's okay, I can give her a little break. 

But I decided that I'm not a very good mother. When they're being difficult I find myself thinking things like "you're being SO irrational right now." or "stop acting like a baby" And I always think "why can't they just understand. They're being so ridiculous right now. if they'd just stop crying they could have what they want. Crying solves nothing" or "Just be rational and reasonable" but you can't expect a child to be reasonable, they just want sympathy....which I have none of. 

Anyways, this is a long introduction to the point of this blog. So tonight when I was putting them to bed, Ashlyn was complaining that she wanted more snacks before she brushed her teeth. I told her she already had 2 grahm crackers, and that's all she's having. Of course she started crying. Then Aubree (her 5 year old cousin) chimed in and said, "Ashlyn, you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit." Words straight from her mother. It was the best thing ever coming from a 5  year old's mouth. 

So after they were in bed, I started thinking about that phrase and how it applied to that situation. I felt like they were the perfect words for all the thoughts that normally run through my head in situations like that. Then I was like "I'm going to say that to my kids all the time" And for teenagers- it will be "beggars can't be choosers" a little deeper, but the same meaning, and just as "bottom-line" -ish. And the adult version of that idiom? "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" (or if you come from my family "don't KICK a gift horse in the mouth :) 

Mostly this long blog is to say those 3 phrases mean the same thing. Guess that's something we all struggle with, no matter what age.

Sales Men and Missionaries

So the other day I had this realization. As we all know, almost every college-aged guy in Utah Valley goes to do summer sales. Let me just tell you- summer sales ruins girls' lives. Anyways, this was my realization. That door to door selling really is amazing. If you think about it, what are the chances that someone will let some random guy into their house, talk to them for 15 minutes, and not only that, but buy something from this random guy. In all honestly, who hides when you see a sales man at the door? Or cringes when you accidentally open up the door to some little boy asking for money. But they're not even cute little boys raising money for a good cause! They're grown men, who could be sex offenders for all we know. It's kind of amazing that guys actually make a decent amount of money selling. Okay, maybe it doesn't sound that cool now, but in that moment, it was a big realization.

Then...if you apply that to missionary work, it's even more miraculous. Like, selling could work because you're offering a product that maybe the person actually needs. But missionary work? You're not really offering anything tangible. You're just knocking on someone's door and asking them to listen to you. It truly is the spirit of the Lord that prompts these people to listen. Just think about it, if someone knocked on your door and asked if you have a minute to listen to a message from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, you're going to be racking your brain of any excuse to get out of the situation. And not only that, you're probably already busy. It really is amazing that some people actually say they'll listen. And afterwards they're probably like, "I have NO idea why I just did that." But hopefully they were touched by the spirit and want to hear more. To me, that alone is proof that there is a God and he really can do anything, anytime, anywhere.

Anyways, it just hit me one day how miraculous both those things really are. That's all.

Let Freedom Ring, Let the White Dove Sing, It's Independence Day

You're probably thinking, "hey shay, it's not independence day. Getting a little too excited for your birthday, eh?" Wrong. But this blog is about how great July 4th is for a birthday. And now you're probably thinking "wow, this girl is cocky. She's writing a blog about how awesome her birth-day is." But really its not MY birthday. I just happened to get lucky and was born on that day.

So anyways, July 4th. I've decided it's the best day to be born on. Or at least the best holiday to be born on.

Reasons why:

• Everyone has work off
• It's in the summer
• Everyone else isn't receiving presents also
• But every IS celebrating
• It's just a huge party
• Everyone remembers it
• You get to share birth-day's with this great nation!

It's not like...Valentine's Day or Halloween where it's a party, but you're doing something specific. the 4th of July is celebrating....a non tangible thing. So really it just becomes a huge celebration. Ya know? You catchin what I'm throwin down? 

Anyways, I really think it is a great birthday. So great that I've considered having one of my kids on that day, just to carry down the tradition. It's such a great birthday, I don't want it to end with me....Well obviously people will still be born on that day, but I don't want it to end with me in my current family and future family. So I imagine I'm going to try to have a child on July 4th.
It's the best birthday.

Lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping?

So here the blogging begins. I've known for quite some time that I was going to start a blog, and I knew it was going to be about all the things I never get to share with people, so I started a list. My list has become quite long, but I don't want to seem eager :), so I'm going pace myself on the blogs I post, even though I know what the next....12 posts are going to be about. So here's the first one. DREAMING.

I just realized something. I'm not a dreamer. I guess you could say I'm a realist, but when I say that, it sounds like I'm trying to make excuses for my behavior. But I realize it's not okay. I don't have high goals, or big aspirations. And it's becoming a problem. Basically I have 3 goals. Get a bachelors degree in Deaf Education, get married in the temple, and become a mother. Now maybe those seem like they are decent goals, which they are, but to a future employer who asks what what your long term goals are- that's not very impressive. I decided I need to start making goals. And writing them down. I want to become a dreamer.

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who talk big. I think that's why I'm not a dreamer, because I don't want to seem like I'm talking big. I usually aspire for things that are actually going to happen. But then I realized that if I never aspire to be anything great, I won't become anything great. I have to work for things, not let them fall in my lap.

So with that being said, here are my new goals. They are few, but it's a start right?

• Run a triathlon in the fall (btw, this is coming along nicely. I've signed up. And started training)
•  Go to Africa with Signs of Hope next summer.